Huh? What?

February 8th, 2010

Killer on the Back Seat

Only by getting to within about 3 feet could I determine that this was an advertisement for seat-belt usage. My other guess was going to be one about vehicle safety: like, when you come home, late at night, and get off the train … check the back seat?

The irony of taking this shot: there was a guy putting on a neon-bright jumpsuit, 2 cars down from this ad, apparently to go to work on the local roadway. Dunno. Suppose he’s worried about being run over? But, wait: he’s not going to be in your back seat unless you’re moving pretty fast … in reverse. Hmm.

Let Them Eat Cake… (So we won’t have to!)

February 8th, 2010
Lynedoch Crescent D 283

Busy days, spent writing and, in D’s case, running around representing Uni faculty. He has turned in to a fill-in lecturer, as a few of the professors have been out with pregnancies and illnesses. He’s always prepared to step in, but his last gig included traveling to the other end of the city and carrying the flag for the university during a tour of the library and archive collection at the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Glasgow. That was unusual, to say the least, but entertaining. Sadly, he couldn’t take pictures, so you’ll have to ask him about the original Audubon paintings he saw.

Housing Update:Not much to say, since the heat/boiler situation hasn’t much changed. Sadly, the issue has moved into the realm of litigation; our downstairs neighbor can’t get the property manager to even pick up her phone calls anymore. She advised us not to mention her name when we phoned.

So. Not much change, not much nice to say, and both of us bracing ourselves against the idea of having to move, if things aren’t resolved or well on their way to resolution, by the end of the month. Deep in our souls we groan, “NOT AGAIN!!!“… but we will if we have to… People are beginning to look at us oddly, though. What is it about us and boilers? And ovens? Or, is it Scotland!? We vote it’s just Glasgow.


Guinness Cake 2

No, this is not a cake doughnut. It’s an actual cake. It was the practice run of the Guinness Cake brought for dessert this past weekend. One of D’s supervisors gamely keeps inviting us over, despite the fact that we haven’t yet had a house where we can be comfortable in inviting them to a meal in return. (Lacking sufficient furniture and/or heat most of the time does create an issue.) Since we can’t host them, we always bring part of the meal, and this time, D’s coworkers got to taste the “reject” cake.

Pleasant Hill 129

It wasn’t a true reject cake; we just wanted to make it late at night, and, realizing we had no cocoa powder, substituted a bar of very dark chocolate, just to see what would happen. We observed the recipe on Epicurious, and halved it as Smitten Kitchen did, and then added our own twist and made a creative frosting.

Guinness Cake 8

The first thing we noticed is how much different the stout smelled. Americans who try this recipe should know that Guinness…beer? Ale? Stout? Whatever you call it — has a different brewing recipe in the U.S., in Scotland, and in Ireland from whence it hails. Therefore: no two Guinness Cakes, apparently, are going to turn out the same. Add to that, flour of a higher humidity on the West Coast of the U.S. (baking in humid areas changes the flour, no matter how you sift it, it’s just not as light), and a different oven, and we came up with a whole new cake than our first try back in January.

Guinness Cake 10

It was much more moist and dense, thanks to the moisture in the air and the additional oils from using a chocolate bar in the batter. To T., at least, the sugar in the chocolate bar made the cake far too sweet, and it seemed the sugar was almost granular and crunchable, like the first cake we made in January back in California. Even the whipped-cream frosting didn’t help cut the sweet on that one! However, palates differ wildly, and oh, our Glaswegian buddies have a sweet tooth. D. and his coworkers finished work on Friday with a cheerful sugar high and probably bounced all the way home. Funniest were their reminiscences about Desserts of Fridays Past: “Oh, do you remember when he made that apricot pastry?” “No, I didn’t get any of that one. But that lemon cake… yeah, that was good.”

This February marks two years that D.’s been consulting for the company… and so, it’s time for a raise. If for nothing else, his boss owes him for the cakes with which he supplies the staff for tea! He’s asked, and been told that they’ll chat about it.

Guinness Cake 12

The real cake we made Friday afternoon, and iced just before lunch the following day. This one had a good cocoa powder in it in addition to the chocolate bar (70% dark), and we went with a more traditional ganache frosting. D. and I confined ourselves to tiny slivers at the Professor’s house, but even his two year old son was quite taken with it. Dense and rich and much more moist than our first two tries, it was sliced up and carried off to church on Sunday with the Professor’s wife, as she feared for her hips if she left it at home for too long. It really turned out well, and the addition of instant coffee granules in the ganache gave just a ghost of bitterness to the already less sweet cake. It was perfect with a hot drink, like black coffee.

Of course, there’s a moral to the story: no good deed goes unpunished. Bringing more cake to the Professor’s house reminder his wife of her long-ago wish D. cater her son’s birthday party someday. Since the wee man is turning three, he’s having a costume party, at The Tall Ship, and of course, the theme is pirates. Wouldn’t D. just love to make her son a nice pirate cake? She’s willing to pay him… Please? (She begs very attractively.) (Imagine T’s eye-rolling.)

She’s the wife of D’s PhD supervisor… so, what are you going to do? Exactly. Meanwhile, stay tuned for Aaargh! The Pirate Cake. And more of T’s eye-rolling.

(Seriously, D loves baking, and finds many creative things a challenge, so he’s not bothered. Ignore T’s eyes. If you look at her squinting, you can just pretend she’s blinking or something.)

Guinness Cake 7

Vegan Potroast

January 31st, 2010
Gluten Potroast 01 Gluten Potroast 02
Gluten Potroast 03 Gluten Potroast 04
Gluten Potroast 05 Gluten Potroast 06
Gluten Potroast 07 Gluten Potroast 08
Gluten Potroast 09 Gluten Potroast 10

OK, folks. Gluten / seitan potroast. Most of the time is spent in chopping your vegetables, and it doesn’t require you to pay attention to it. Make it in the morning, have it for lunch. There’s not much of a recipe, particularly because we’ve blogged it before here, here, here, and here. Pick a recipe and form it into a roast-shaped hunk, and follow the steps below:

  1. Throw some chopped onions into your crock pot.
  2. Throw some chopped carrots into your crock pot.
  3. Throw some sliced potatoes into your crock pot.
  4. Slosh on some soy sauce.
  5. Add about a cup of vegetable broth.
  6. Settle your roast on top.
  7. Cover and turn on the crock pot.
  8. Check back in about 4 hours.
  9. When it’s firm to the touch, arrange in a pan.
  10. Put in the oven for about 15 minutes, to give it a bit of a crust.

Really – this is about as easy as you get. Forget about a 30 minute meal: this is 30 minutes you can eat from for days and days. Serve with gravy and / or cranberry sauce and the vegetables you cooked with it. Watch the video below to see the assembly.

Gluten Potroast 11

So You Will Stop Asking Her Mother…

January 27th, 2010
Tanita NYT 3

There have been many kind congratulations from many people who are aware of T’s winning a national honor for her book. There have also been many questions from many people, many of which have been leveled at T’s mother, who has no clue, but dutifully passes the questions along. T. was trying to wait until she actually knew something to reply, but knowledge — or the lack of it — has really never stopped her from speaking yet. So, T. will now answer a few questions.


Q: So, she gets to go to New York?

Nope. The award ceremony is in Washington D.C. — it’s a national award, thus it makes sense to go to our nation’s capital. She’s recently discovered that her publishing company is paying for her airfare. This goes a long way toward ensuring she actually shows up. Unfortunately, this also goes a long way toward her feeling like since they paid for the dance, they get to pick the music. This is worrying her more than you might think, as she’s pretty sure something evil like microphones and public speaking are part of paying the piper on this one. Beware the Ugly Electronics.

Q: Does she get to meet Michelle Obama?

If she does, it’ll be on the news. Because there’s a good chance she’ll pass out, and be tackled by Secret Service personnel.

Q: Does she get a medal?

Yes. As the American Library Association (ALA) is essentially the sponsor of the Book Olympics, indeed, there are medals. They cannot, however, be worn on a ribbon around the neck. Fortunately. Book People get out so rarely, there would be a rash of poorly accessorized sweats, if a means to wear the medals were provided.

Q: Is the medal gold?

Nope. As mentioned, this is the BOOK Olympics, not that other one, so the medals are all some kind of etched bronze. Books pretty much don’t rate as much as sports, nor do educational awards get as much flash and bash as athletic awards. It is the way of the world, Young Grasshopper. No one says it makes sense.

Q: Does she get a sticker on her book?

Yes. And for those who live and die by stickers on books, this means a lot. (Some people only buy books for their children that have stickers on them that mean This Won An Award. This is remarkably short-sighted, since the award committees are just made up of …people. Not gods.) To T., it means an amusing guess-where-they’ll-put-it game, since the cover of MARE’S WAR has three people on it, and there’s really not a good spot to place it that won’t look really, really weird. Fortunately, this is not her problem.

Q: Are they giving her money? How much money does she get?

You’ll have to look it up the answer to either or both of those. Like with the X-Files, the truth is out there, somewhere. Since you obviously have failed to recall what your mother said about asking people about how much they make, we are not going to help you with that. At all. And stop asking T’s mother, or she’ll start taking names. Seriously. Since when have her finances — or, more realistically, her lack of them — been your business?

Tanita NYT 2a

Q: Does it mean she gets more money for her books?

You with the MONEY again! *sigh* Look, maybe. Publishing is, like many other things in the arts, a thoroughgoing gamble, a complete crapshoot. (Please note that this refers to the gambling game, craps, and is in no way as vulgar as it sounds.) While having won a national award increases one’s public profile, and causes editors to scrutinize what you say in interviews to the point of calling your agent and asking about books which do not yet exist (this has already happened), theoretically, it should give her agent more clout in contract negotiations, thus netting her more money in the long run. “More” being an amusing euphemism for “perhaps someday she will earn a living wage from this writing thing.” However, this is all conjecture; this is not T’s area of concern; this is why she has an agent.

Q: Why does she have her name in the New York Times Arts Section for the 21st of January?

Because her editor is kind. And it’s good PR for Random House. No other reason, really.


We hope you’ve been edified, and are as deeply honored as you should be that you now know just as much as we do about what’s going on. Tune in next time as we provide answers to such questions as The Meaning of Life, explore Artificial Intelligence and Time Travel, explain Cultural Relativism, and otherwise reveal our genius to the world.


House Update: No change – but it’s on the far horizon. D. wrote a distinctly polite little note to the property managers over the weekend which did not mention the word “solicitor” at all, yet resulted in a 25% reduction in our rent (woot!), which is more of a response than we’ve ever, ever had from any property manager thus far. Hint: asking for their response in writing and saying that you are collecting documents puts the fear of God into people. The upshot of this is that we may very well be able to stay here… if they don’t delay dealing with things. An engineer came yesterday and looked around, and is going to make a bid; we expected a second one yesterday, but he never showed. Fingers crossed – some kind of movement will happen, soon.

January 27, in Retrospect

January 27th, 2010

Monks of Evil?

January 26th, 2010

Charing Cross 213

Unrelatedly, but brought to mind when thinking of eejits, those of you in the UK should watch The Buckfast Code, on iPlayer. Why? Well, what drink has less than 2% of the alcohol market, yet is involved in about half of all alcohol-involved, violent crimes in Scotland? Oh, yeah, baby: Buckfast Tonic Wine.

Charing Cross 202

It’s made by monks of evil, apparently: who else would manufacture a fortified wine with a whopping caffeine content? The green bottle – the UK version – has 37.5mg caffeine per 100ml – about the same quantity as a cola beverage which is 35mg per 375ml can. If you’re in Ireland? Your Bucky has 50% more caffeine than the UK version, at 55mg/100ml – more than is in a cup of tea. To put this differently: per volume, the green bottle has 4 times as much caffeine as Coca Cola, and the brown bottle has 6 times as much!

If you’re outside of the UK, you’ll not be able to watch, which is a real shame. We can’t figure out a way around this copy protection, either, so you’ll just have to trust us: it was worth watching.

Links

January 25th, 2010

Once again, links! A week’s worth of the stuff that I thought you’d be interested in (or that you should be interested in). Enjoy!
Read the rest of this entry »

The Word of the Day Is…

January 25th, 2010

Swan Vestas 1

There are 2 words of the day, today: Numpty and Tumshie. Why? Well, because I was talking to somebody the other day, and found myself to be utterly delighted when they said, “…and you just know some numpty will come along and…”

Swan Vestas 2

I stopped them, and, grinning, said “numpty.” “Well, yeah, some numpty, meaning…” “No,” I said, “I totally understand the word – it’s just been probably two months since I’ve heard it, is all. I’ve missed it!”

Swede Fries 02

Numpty and Tumshie (or tumshie-head, to use it fully, as in back in the days of old when the Scots didn’t have pumpkins to carve, so carved out tumshies for jack-o-lanterns; to be a tumshie-head is to be not simply a turnip-head, but to be one which has had its contents scooped out) are just two of the fabulous words we’ve learned, and learned to truly love.


In more surreal Scottish news: You know we all obsess over the weather around here. The longer we’re here, the more the constant conversations about rain, cold, or wind make sense to us. When we first got here, it used to bewilder us, how people can go on about it excessively; we thought it was just dead boring.

Well, yeah. It is. But, it’s what we do ’round here. And now we have a new story to add to the pantheon: the Telegraph reported last Tuesday about a woman who’d stepped out on December 19th to pick up her Christmas turkey down in Inverness… and just got back on January 18th. Yes. A month out, because she lives on such a steep hill on the coast, and there was so much snow and ice and insanity that she could not get back. Her poor husband was down to emergency rations divided amongst himself and six Springer spaniels. He spent Christmas, New Year’s and his birthday alone for the first time in thirty-five years.

Goodness, my dear, isn’t it cold lately?”

Quick Curry

January 24th, 2010

OK, people: curry. Quick, easy, yummy. Thanks to The Gluttonous Vegan for the inspiration:

Curry:

  • a sweet potato, peeled and cubed
  • tofu, cubed into small cubes
  • a carrot, cut into wedges*
  • 3 green onions, thinly sliced
  • 2 white onions, roughly chopped
  • 6 large mushrooms, cut into 1/8ths
  • 3 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 1 sachet (50g) coconut cream
  • 2 Tbsp green Thai curry paste
  • 1 Tbsp ginger paste
  • 2 tsp pepper flakes (to taste)
  • vegetable stock
  • basil leaves, shredded
  1. Sauté your white onion and mushrooms until tender.
  2. Add curry paste and let it heat through a bit.
  3. Add stock plus everything else except the green onion and basil leaves.
  4. Let simmer for about 20 minutes, until the sweet potatoes are nearly done.
  5. Remove from heat.
  6. Add green onions.
  7. Prepare some rice.
  8. Serve over rice, garnished with basil leaves.

*Note: Ever since having seen Yan (of Yan Can Cook) prepare carrots this way, I’ve done so as well. Basically, you’re cutting across the carrot on a 45° angle, and rotating the carrot 1/4 of a turn after each slice. This results in chunks of carrot which are wedge-shaped, irregular, and interesting to encounter.

Finding Peace in Glasgow

January 24th, 2010

Since we’ve been back (12 days now), I’ve found it very difficult to adjust to this time zone, falling asleep at as early as 7 p.m.. I seem to have settled into a time zone all of my own, now, where I’m wide awake at 4 a.m. and absolutely fall out at 9 p.m. That’s only 7 hours of sleep, but my body just doesn’t seem to need it, nor want it.

Lynedoch Crescent D 241

I’m going to keep it this way. The absolute best time to get anything done in Glasgow, as far as studying, is after about 3:30 a.m., when all of the pub-goers have finished their stumbles home. The city is then absolutely silent until around 5 a.m., when the first delivery trucks begin to rumble by. That’s about the only noise there is until around 7 a.m., when the vehicle traffic picks up enough to be noticeable. That’s the ideal time for a shower cat-lick bath anyway (yes, our boiler’s still out; no, we have no heating or hot water; we are considering breaking the lease). So, getting up at 4 and working ’til 7 gives me 3 solid hours of writing, with peace, no demands, nothing else to do except get up for a cup of tea.

The truly wonderful thing about this is that I’m giving my best time to my studies, rather than trying to squeeze studying in at the end of the day, when I’m tired. In the morning, I don’t check email, I don’t look at blogs, I don’t tinker with photographs: I just write. It’s … fabulous.